Bless his peapickin' heart... So, as you may have read on Gregg's blog, we attended a Chicago Tribune/Red Eye/Metromix event held Wednesday evening at the Apple Store. I watched in mournful sadness as he wrote that post, and  happily tagged all the techie, computery things he would inquire about and play with there. When parking for the event, he even stated how miraculous it was to be attending this event as Apple had just released the new MacBook only days before. He went on and on about how people would be teaming to get technical info, giddy to find out more and more computer and programming information at this oh, so special event. Finally, controlling myself from physically shaking him, I had to say, "Gregg, this is a client and agency people event featuring free vodka, beer and pizza - with a dj. Honestly, I don't think they are going to be hovered over all the Macs asking technical questions about their operating system. I think they are going to be getting drunk and full of pizza within a two hour span." He just looked at me in absolute disbelief. This could not be true. Never. Never. Never. Not at his shrine. Not at the Apple Store. In a nutshell, computers, peripherals and Gregg were on the first floor. Booze, pizza, dj and everyone else were on the second floor. Bless his pea-pickin' little heart.  more things that make me cringe... so gregg is abnormally addicted to Patton Oswalt, it's ok, we all are. so hilarious. i would put a link here, but i am way too tired, and Google is for everyone, folks. Anyhoo, he is here to stay and so funny, we wind up lighter, in that you spit up any meal and/or beverage currently on board, ie pizza, beer, water, gum, doesn't matter - it goes flyin'! i digress. if you do hear it, and, again, you should, "feelin' kinda Patton" if you need more help - this, below, is Gil Gerard. eek. happy why the hell can't i wear pink day! so, yea, my six year old daughter is evidently not at all a fan of St. Patrick's Day. first off, she really doesn't like green, second, and most important, she only wears pink. just pink. nothing else. ever. her closet is a pink rainbow with hues ranging from cotton candy to pepto bismal to azalea to some light yet muted tone that may have been vomited up by Snuggle, the dryer sheet bear. pink shirts, long and short sleeve, pink pants, pink sweats, pink skirts, pink skorts, pink jackets, pink scarves... we do not want for pink in our home. getting back to today's wonderful holiday, my daughter is pissed and rebelling against it.  "where is your green?" i say... "i don't like green. i don't wear green. when is pink day? why don't we have a pink day? if we have a green day, why can't we have a pink day!" she marches off. i don't know. do you? is there some st. pink out there that can be celebrated? we can have pink beer, or drink pink ladies, dye the river pink, wear pink all day, sing pink songs... more holidays! hooray! one child happy. it is a better world. did i mention my son loves blue? c'mon, who's old? so gimmie a shout back! name the little dude from the jack in the box commercials..   too much tv  so, like, ever watch tv? ok, that is a given. ok, ever watch tv and see a commercial for an upcoming movie and then at the end the credits and rating flash and the director is a guy you took to a formal in college? ok, that is a given as well... but it had not happened to me until now, so i will go ahead and show you the ham it up photo, then let you google and/or imdb andy fickman. Almighty Isis...  Be afraid. Be very afraid. Evidently, the power of Isis was summoned at last night's Olympic Ice Dancing event. Cause, as we all know, Ice Dancers should dress like lame super heroes. SHAZAM!!!! for the lost freak in us all holy crap. i thought i was bad for scouring the internet for dopey little side sites on the fun bizarre twists that encompass the series, LOST... wow. there are people out there with way more spare time than ever should be allowed to a human. it really sucked gregg and me in as well. so much for watching the olympics tonight. oh well, let me ruin your day, in case you had copy to write, bills to pay, clothes to fold, children to pick up, etc. lostpedia.com it's yo birthday today is my favorite person's birthday. it also officially begins the few short months where I can tease him about being "a year" older than me. no it is not babe ruth or ronald reagan. -- or timmy, for that matter. happy birthday! believe it or not well, yeah, by my own gene pool i am forced to not only remember the greatest american hero, but his mom as well. a third generation Perry Mason viewer, i am required to know that he is the real life son of Della Street, Perry's "secretary" -- wink wink. Yeah, Della, we know what went on when Perry was slimmed down on his cottage cheese diet in the judges chambers. Greatest American Hero, uh huh, spawn of Perry. blue pancakes and swiss chard My son has food allergies. Major food allergies, like, big time allergic to everything. You know, wheat, gluten, dairy, eggs, soy, butter, beans, nuts, even garlic - garlic! My daughter is fine and would taunt him with a bowl of mac and cheese if I let her. Actually, she is pretty good about it. We just pretend that mac and cheese was wiped from the planet in a freak nuclear accident shortly after he was diagnosed. I have been one with the internet over the past month scouring for recipes, tricks, tips and help in trying to feed this child. I have given gregg a myriad of gluten, dairy, egg, butter, soy free recipes to concoct. Today it was pancakes. Silver dollar pancakes that he can carry around and snack on so he won't have to eat his weight in rice cakes. Then gregg thought it might be fun for him if they were blue. Of course, his favorite color, why not. Blue pancakes for everyone, yippee! I went back to making dinner. I need to get something green in him every day. And not with food coloring. It is my mission. For both of them, really, and us. For my son, boogers could constitute as the green part of every meal if it was up to him, but it is not and I digress. Swiss chard. I was really excited about making swiss chard, I like greens --a lot, and in retrospect, actually thinking that a four year old would get giddy over swiss chard is pretty boneheaded. So he tried it, and then he made a face like I was killing him for making him ingest this horrific green stringy slime. I don't get it, it was really good. I had seconds, then I finished his and my daughters. The blue pancakes however, he loved. Whatever. i got nuthin...  a week of pre-tax season stress, accounting ulcers and so forth. i have nothing witty left. at all. so, instead, here are some random facts about beer: 1. Nine-tenths of beer's volume is made up of water. 2. Some states don't allow the terms "beer" or "lager" to be used on brews containing more than 5 percent alcohol; "ale" is used instead. 3. Most beer in the United States has an alcohol content in the range of 3.2 to 8 percent, while some European beers can range up to 13 percent. 4. To prevent heavy foam from forming at the top of your beer glass, tilt the glass slightly at an angle when pouring. 5. The warmer the beer, the more foam it will produce. 6. Light beer (in the U.S.) not only has fewer calories than its counterpart, it also usually contains less alcohol. you learn something new every day. except maybe leap year. then you get really stupid. but only for four years. dear diary, so here is my blog. it is a work blog, which means i shall reveal nothing personal. had i a personal blog, i would not reveal anything personal. why in the world do you think they sell the little flowery cardboard cover diaries at the drugstore that come with an impenetrable lock and key. sheesh. that is where you are to write all the personal crap. why? cause no one cares who you have a crush on, how big your zit is, why your life is so depressing at that very moment, and math is so hard and teen angst is getting the best of you as your life dissolves into a john hughes plotline. or, that could just be high school in the eighties, which would probably be the last time i kept any sort of daily record concerning my personal affairs. hmmmm. so i have a crush on the guy that sits next to me, acne is now controllable with plain toothpaste - really. life is fun and challenging, and math is still horrifically awful and you should not waste your time with it in school because you will never ever use it ...except in budgeting media. and billing. and at tax time. ok fine. you might use it in a pinch, but they make adding machines ya know! ugh, i feel so exposed. Finally I have been waiting to get this off my chest for so long... oh, there is the phone, gotta run.